Gimmie a break...

Yesterday I was walking home from the subway pretty late for a school night.
It was only 10:30pm but that's late for me.
Don't judge.
I like my sleep.
And you like me better when I'm well rested. Trust me.

As I was walking I was thinking about how I didn't get to the gym once this week.
And I didn't get to clean my apartment before I go away.
And I don't know if I have enough cash to go to Florida.
I think you can see the pattern.

So I began to wonder.
Wonder why I defaulted to the negative things about my week instead of the positive.
Putting in an honest week of work at an organization that helps thousands of people living with poverty every year.
And having food to eat.
And spending two separate nights with friends talking about our lives.
And having a washer and dryer in my house to do laundry.
And sharing homemade quiche for dinner on Wednesday with Landlady Curly and the Redheads.
And in less than 48 hours leaving for a vacation in Florida to celebrate kicking cancer in the you-know-whats with my Mom and Aunties.
And having warm boots when we got slammed with a spring snow storm.
And so on.

I hate that I defaulted to negativity and worry.
Why?
I really need to give myself a break.
Guess a week in the sun is just what the doctor ordered.

Julia

Crying on the subway

On Monday morning I was standing on the subway annoyed by the backpack of a fellow commuter sticking into my ribs when I saw this poster.
I should have known better than to read a Canadian Cancer Society poster after the year we have had.
But I read it any way.
And then I cried.
I would fight to the death for my Mom.
I kind of feel like we did.
We won.
Tak that cancer.

Julia

It's the gift that keeps on giving...grief.

I felt the need to dust my desk this morning when I got to work.
Don't ask me why.
Maybe I'm nesting.
Maybe I'm just tired of sneezing at work all of the time.
Who knows?
Not the point.
The point is that I found something on my desk that made me think.
A gift.
A gift from someone that I used to call my friend.
My first instinct was to throw it away.
Or give it away.
But I like it.
It was a thoughtful gift.
Something I am known to collect.
But it evokes hurt feelings.
I probably shouldn't keep it.
But.
It is still sitting on my desk.
Trying to convince me that it shouldn't be punished for the choices of others.
I'm not convinced...yet.
Julia